An open letter to my ex husband.

 I wish this was a happy post, I wish I didn't have to write it at all.

As many of you know I lost my youngest son 14 years ago.

Here is what you don't know. Every single year since his death, as the anniversary approaches, I start getting messages some from people I know, some from people  I don',t with screen shots of various nasty things my Ex husband has posted on social media like this crap:

Lovely right? 

As I mentioned before something similar to this happens every year, and yes, I am aware this post was made a year ago. That's the main reason I am posting it here and not heading to court with it. I have shown it to law enforcement and discussed it with a lawyer, however, they feel that yes I definitely have a case, but too much time has passed to do anything about it. It's not the first time I have heard this either.

This post was made on another grieving parent's Facebook I am not sure of the circumstances, but from what I understand the father made a post on her 1 year anniversary of her death, and this is what my Ex posted to him in response. 

Nowhere, was this parent offered any form of condolence from my ex. He didn't even say I am sorry for your loss. WTF?

First, to the family who the original post was about, I am so sorry for your loss. I am just so sorry.

Now for the purpose of this blog post

Marty what are you thinking??

Why?

First, you know for a fact that none of what you posted is true.

 None of it. 

It is well documented and on the record via the police report that followed because of Chris's death that I WAS AT WORK AT THE TIME!!!

It was an accident, the children were not neglected. There was a 45-minute window between the time I had to go to work and when my partner at the time would have arrived home.

It wouldn't have made one bit of difference. 

It was a freak fucking accident.

He sat down against his bedpost, he got his hemp necklace caught, he leaned forward to free it and it was in just the right place on his neck to make him pass out, he remained in that position because the pressure was on his neck, he died. It was horrible it was tragic and heartbreaking.

You know all this, but you still do this shit every single year, WHY?

What do you get out of telling such lies??

Why say I was at the tavern neglecting my children?  and without supervision,  Chris was 10, Brent his brother who was watching him was 14, he had taken a babysitting course, he babysat other people's children, He was very responsible, you paint this story like they were very small kids left alone. 

Again WHY?

I don't care about your opinion about me, you can call me names thats your opinion, I could really care less.

You can say I have no maternal instincts I think that has been proven to be false over and over again, but ok, You said I was mentally unstable, but I am not the one who has spent 14 YEARS, spreading nastiness and making fake profiles to try and add your EX wife on Facebook, or finding ways to just be a total disagreeable person.

You complain that your sister was called instead of you. That much is true. And this is why. You and I split when Chris was two. You then spent the next 8 years denying he was your child. You refused to provide any contact information at all. The only time you expressed any interest in your children is when you met your second wife. You wanted to impress, so you then began showing up at my work, you would sit in the parking lot and watch to see if I was working. When you found out I was, you then went to various payphones in the area and left numerous messages about how you were in town and you wanted to see the kids right now, the messages began pleasant enough, but as I was at work and wasn't home and could not answer, the message became more and more abusive throughout the day with claims like "I know you are home, you are keeping the kids from me answer your damn phone you bitch!"

Also during this time, both children were in school and couldn't have visited anyway.

When you left a phone number, it was for the payphone you were using or a made-up number that usually meant a random person who never heard of you when I called back.

When I called your parents to see if I could get a message to you that way, I was told to not call again and was hung up on. And they didn't just hang up on me, Brent tried to call and they hung up on him too.

You were too worried about maybe paying child support, you never wanted to see the boys, if fact you spent the next 8 years denying they were your children to everyone, except the aforementioned second and now second ex-wife. She is a lovely person, by the way, quite frankly you did not deserve her, and yes I mean it she is a lovely person. 

She had no idea that you were lying to her about everything. She had no part in all the shit you pulled.

So yes, we called your sister as she was the only way to contact you. And that is on you. So bitch about how awful it was of us to make sure you were notified all you like.

I won't even go into all the things that went on in between, like having our vehicles damaged, windshields smashed out, Rims and wheels just disappearing off our vehicles, random late-night calls always with the number blocked, showing up when I was out shopping and standing threatening in the doorway of the store, trying to intimidate several members of my family on several occasions (if you are wondering how that is possible, he is a very large man, and would often use his body to block us from leaving) Not pleasant but according to the police not illegal.

Then after the funeral, you began making several profiles to attack the memorial page my sister had set up to remember him. To the point, the page had to be shut down. 

I invited you to the page, to allow you to view photos and see everyone's memories as you had none of your own, I was trying to at least give you that, the past wasn't important. But I learned my lesson.

I don't believe for one second you grieve Chris, I am sorry your words say one thing, your actions which are ongoing say another.

It's been 21 years since we split Marty, we have been divorced for 17. 

MOVE ON.

Stop with your obsession and move on.

We have both remarried, I shouldn't be getting screenshots like this, people shouldn't be seeing you post that garbage. You have been married and divorced twice, and have now started another family.. don't you think it is time to just enjoy your life?

I mean, your almost 54... Stop.

I do my best to keep this kind of thing off social media, you know I haven't intruded on your life or bothered you in any way, so I am not sure why you keep doing this, 

I feel sorry for you.

To your new girlfriend who has chosen to have children with you,  Dear Pam, please be very careful, keep your own bank account and guard it well. And when something seems off, you have been told a bizarre story that doesn't make sense, go with your gut, if you think something is wrong, it most likely is.

Marty loves drama, and he will throw you under the bus to get it. And you won't even know he has done it until it's much too late. Nothing is sacred to him, nothing.

 No matter how much you love him, you protect yourself and those children because the time will come when you will be glad you did.

I only skimmed the surface of what he has done to me and my family, the story is much worse, and many who were there can tell you. But it's in the past and it's time to move on. Please be safe, be smart, and I hope you have a better relationship than I did. Maybe just maybe he will change for you.

Good luck.

Like I said I get messages every day, because not only do people love drama, they love to see if they can rip open a wound and love to enjoy the show. I think I have most of those people out of my life, but you never know.

Yes, I am aware he has somehow managed to steal my photos of Chris, No there isn't much I can do about it, it has been reported so we will see. 

If you are helping him, by screenshotting my photos and sending them to him, or reporting to him on our very boring daily lives, stop, get out of my life. You're as bad as he is.

If you are not one of these people but see a post like this, then yes, please send it to me. I have Marty and his whole family blocked because he uses their social media as well if he can sneak access to it, to launch some of his attacks, and they have no idea, so we can't see the posts in most cases. 

I know some people say just let it go,  you know it's not true, and we have for 14 years, but now he is using my son's death as a weapon, and enough is enough, I am tired, of people who don't know better contact me and threaten me, I get hate mail. I am done, I won't just let it go anymore.

Marty this is your notice, if you make another post like this, defaming me, my family, or about us in general, and you fill it full of lies, then I will charge you. I will take you to court and I don't care what it costs. This is the last.

Try honoring Christopher's memory, we ask people to do a random act of kindness in his memory, maybe try doing something like that,

But so help me if you don't stop the kind of behavior, as shown above, there will be consequences.

I found it!

 I got a new computer a few years ago and lost the ability to find my blog.

I finally found it again, And maybe it is good that I lost it for a while. A lot happened while I was gone, Jocelyne and the girls lived with us for a few years, We moved to a home we loved, then that house sold and we had to move again,

I went through a very angry phase after that.

I am over it now.

Life is pretty good right now. 

I am slowly starting to like our new home, Both the girls are now in school and I have adjusted to them living elsewhere, They visit us often, 

We have joy happiness and peace. 

We have lived through an actual plague. 

Covid changed everything for us once again, and it brought a different perspective on life. 

We made the decision to live our lives the way we wanted, No need to make it to complicated.

Happiness is a choice. 

I am so glad to have my blog back, its been a few years and there is much to share with you. 

I look forward to it.

Until next time

Angie

Life as we know it

Remember my last post? The one where I was lamenting that my nest wasn't so empty and that I was ok with that.? Remember that?

Fast forward to 5 days ago and everything changed. Not only is my nest firmly full again but it is filled with the most wonderful thing.

A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL!

No I did not give birth to her, no we did not adopt her. She is my grand daughter and she is living with us.

It does not matter the circumstances to which that came about. What matters is she is here now and life is very very different.

It is a big change to go back to changing diapers and feedings, attempting to get a baby on a routine is something I haven't done for a long time. 

But you know what? Every single  second is worth it. Holding her in my arms at 2 am when she thinks its play time, is so worth it, Watching my husband who was certain he would never know what it was like to have a baby in the house full time -so worth it.

Watching her grow and change even in the short time she has been with us, well you guessed it- worth it.

Life will be really different for us for next little while, and I will try to keep you updated but if I neglect this blog well you know I am beyond busy watching this baby girl Aliyah grow and change. 

Here are ten things my granddaughter has taught me:

1)Motherhood for the most part is like riding a bike, most of it you never forget and it comes naturally after a very short time.

2)There are not enough raincoats in the world to keep you dry while a happy baby is enjoying bath time.

3)Strained peas and mashed spaghetti are still gross and and even more so when pooped out.

4)You can never have too many face cloths

5)No matter what kind of day you are having the greeting a smiling giggling baby gives the second they open their eyes  in the morning will make you float on cloud nine.

6) You might be number one all day in the baby's eyes - until the minute Grand Dad gets home from work, then its all about him.

7) Babies are still expensive.

8) Hell hath no fury like a baby who has been put into her playpen so you can pee, make a bottle or any other trivial thing, She will scream like she is being killed until you come back , then we are all smiles again.

9) A warm wet terry cloth facecloth to a teething baby is the better than any teething ring , unless Nana remembered to put the teething ring back in the freezer, then that is better.

10) The world seen through a baby's eyes is an amazing place and everything is new, wonderful and joyful. She makes me thankful for every aspect of my life.

Hope you all have a great weekend, I know we will.

My empty nest is not so empty

 So I caught my two year old playing in the toilet this morning... Now most of you know my home is child free now, as the kids are grown and are off at university or living on their own now.
So what is this about a two year old?

Allow me to explain, before I do however let me tell you a little story,

When my kids were small, I had thoughts about what I thought them being grown up would be like- for me. I had visions of a finally clean house, long dinners made of something more exciting than kraft dinner, sleeping in, finally seeing the bottom of my laundry hamper, even going to the bathroom with out a child standing on the other side of the door, demanding my attention.

 Ahh the stuff dreams are made of!

 I don't care who you are, when you have children you have days where you dream of having your life back , sometimes you even count the days, and after years of waiting, It finally happens.  They go away.. The house is yours... FREEDOMMMMMMMMM!!! 

Then reality hits you and you cry, because now your kids are gone and how will they survive with out you? will they wear their coat? Are they eating enough? Are they washing behind their ears and wearing clean underwear? (they have been bathing themselves for years now and have been successfully putting on clean underwear unassisted for quite some time, but this matters not, because now you have been transformed into the insane empty nester and must obsess about these things ) to reassure yourself you call their cell phone, no answer , your heart leaps , and you hit redial, no answer again! You repeat this process several times all while envisioning your baby broken in a ditch somewhere..... Then your phone dings and you receive a TEXT, from the child whose phone you have spent the last two hours blowing up, saying " What you need mom? I was sleeping?" 

You look at the clock, its 2 p.m - He was sleeping at 2 in the afternoon, you raised him better than this. 

Eventually you get over it and accept that the house is yours... unless you are me.

If you are me, in mid celebration of the newly acquired house to yourself freedom dance, you discover that about a year or two before the last child left the home, you were introducing new children of the furry variety, to ensure you never get that clean home or solitary bathroom time you dreamed of so very long ago. I now have a 4 year old cat, a 2 year old cat and a 1 year old dog. And they act just like children of the same corresponding ages. 

Fast forward to today. Remember that small fantasy of using the bathroom alone? Never got it. Now when I go to the rest room, one of the animals must come with to watch. This morning it was Storm, the 2 year old. When the kids were small, they used to join me in the loo, because if I let them roam free they would destroy something in the 38 seconds it takes me to do my business. When they got older they stood outside shouting  at me through the door, Chris, when he was little would wiggle his fingers under the door through the gap all while going,  " Mom... Mom.... MOOOOOOOMMMMMM! are you coming out soon??" I had been in there 2 seconds...

Now today, Storm wiggles his paws under the door jiggling it until it pops open, in he comes and sits staring at me while I do my number two. While I was washing my hands I look over and there he is, splashing toilet water all over the place, Why?? I have no idea...

Remember that nice clean home I dreamed of, that never happened either, now I spend my days sweeping piles of fur off the floor constantly, these critters shed A LOT! How they still have a full fur coat, when there is enough fur shed here a day to clothe 5 more animals? I have no idea.... 

Sometimes I get to enjoy nice clean freshly washed floors for all of two seconds before the 1 year old Karma, (the dog) forgets she uses the bathroom outside and does number two on the floor with out fail, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME! 

 Reminds me of the time when Brent was the same age and he went through a phase where he would remove his diaper in the wee early morning hours (before I was awake) after he had filled it and then proceeded to smear it all over his wall, his crib, himself... at least Karma hasn't figured out to do that yet. Why does she poop every time I wash the floor? I have no idea......

Remember that dream of an empty laundry hamper, NOPE! never got that either, because the 4 year old Sophie, has nice beautiful long white fur, and an uncanny ability to sense warm dry freshly out of the dryer folded clothing - as soon as her kitty senses pick up on this wonderful thing, she must sleep on it, roll in it and deposit a days worth of white fur all over it, (I suppose I could be faster at putting it away, but I was fishing Storm out of the toilet) Kinda like when I would just get the kids clothes washed dried and put away, then they would tear everything out of the drawers trying to decide what to wear and then throw it on the floor making it impossible for me to determine what was clean or dirty and have to wash it all again. Why did they do this? I still have no idea...

So my empty nest is not so empty, but its not so bad, I still dream of the day the house will be mine, but I love my kids human and furry, Did they all eat today?... why do they never answer their damn phones????

Karma the freaking wonder dog

So a few months ago we adopted a puppy. Her name is Karma and she is a valley bull pit bull mix.  It has been a long time since I raised a puppy. It has been a learning experience for me. 

 I went into it thinking it would be easy. She is very easy to love and is adorable. And she is very very loyal. She has brought me joy and has made me say dammit and f**k  A LOT!

First let me say I love her. 100% . But with some of the things she does, it is a good thing she is cute.  

Let me explain:

Puppies like to chew, some of the items she has chewed/eaten, are the following: an entire package of toilet paper (the jumbo rolls) she did this when we were not at home, to punish us for leaving her. This was before we learned about kennels and how wonderful they are. 
 She ate my entire Terry Goodkind collection.. (I have a glass book shelf Karma could reach the bottom shelf, guess what was on the bottom shelf)She did this while I was home, every time I went to the bathroom or looked in another direction she read destroyed a book)

Every single one of storm and Sophie's cat toys. Like human children, there is sibling rivalry among pet siblings.  Although half of her size Sophie and Storm are the boss and she knows it, but thier toys taste soooo good, so she munches on them whenever she can.
Anything wood, or with a zipper. 

Cat poop from the litter box.(ew)
Her OWN poop (even more ew)
The eyes out of every single stuffed animal she owns, ( nothing else just the eyes, there is now a collection of teddy bears in my home that look like they belong in a horror movie)
My work headset which I need to do my job.

There have been many other things but the worst by far was a loaf of bread I had rising on the counter.
In case you are not aware of what happens when a dog eats raw bread dough, allow me to paint a little picture for you. 

Raw bread dough is toxic to dogs , it can have one of two effects, It can turn to alcohol in their stomachs causing them to get alcohol poisoning and need an immediate iv and stomach pumping ( you will know this has happened because they will be wobbly and you will know they are not o.k also the stomach will be extended and painful -I learned this during a frantic phone call to Dr Barry our vet). The second thing is what happened to Karma.

 Diarrhea of epic proportions and vomit the projectile kind. 

For an entire week I followed my dog around with a mop and a bucket. Our home smelled like a drunken frat boy party in which several kegs of beer had been spilled and let dry. No surface was safe, I swore  a lot, I cried a lot I threw several things away. 
 I have not baked bread since. Until then we didn't even know she could reach the counter or that she might steal something sitting on it.

Once she seemed better John decided to take her with him in the car on a trip to Lunenburg..  I received a frantic text : The dog is NOT better, OMG MY CAR!!!!. When he got home , EVERY  surface inside the car had been hit, and stink oh my goodness! more stale beer smell.

Raising a puppy is so much fun.

 There have been funny things too, like the time Karma watched her brother Storm jump from the couch to the glass shelf set. Storm is agile and graceful, Karma tried to follow and the shelf set didn't make it, 

You are not a kitty ! is a common phrase in my home.  

In this photo Karma is pretending to be a cat and trying to sit on the back of the furniture like they do.

She is also an escape artist, to this day we have no idea how she was breaking out of her kennel, but when we would return home there she was waiting at the door, house destroyed.

Thank goodness we found a second kennel that is escape free.. so now she has one for bedtime and one for when mommy and daddy leave the house.

 We did learn that puppies like human children do so much better when they have friends, Enter Roper( an Australian sheep dog ) and Neeka,( a huskie) her friends from down the road. Roper and Neeka have a fenced in yard, so when Karma goes to visit they play leash free. Once she started regularly having play dates, she calmed down a lot. 

 The best part about Karma is the snuggles, she loves to be held even though now she is too big, and she makes no bones about that she loves us dearly.  I cannot imagine life with out her

Pure happiness (Karma playing outside with my son Brent)

Can't help but love her!

Messages from heaven? Or am I just crazy?

I found a penny today
just laying on the ground
But it’s not just a penny
this little coin I’ve found

“Found” pennies come from heaven
that’s what my Grandpa told me
He said angels toss them down
oh, how I loved that story

He said when an angel misses you
they toss a penny down
Sometimes just to cheer you up
make a smile out of your frown

So don’t pass by that penny
when you’re feeling blue
It may be a penny from heaven
that an angel tossed to you.

- – - written by Charles L. Mashburn

Its a very nice poem and I have thought of it many times when I see a penny on the ground especially after my son Chris passed away almost 6 years ago. I know a lot of people think that when a loved one passes away they may return or send messages to you in the form of pennies or in the frequent appearance of an animal that they loved seeing in life.

I have a friend who believes that her dad sends owls to her and she sees owls very frequently, especially when she is missing her dad. I have had a little bizarre experience that has been going on now for about 4 years. It doesn't happen every day, not even every month. In fact sometimes several months will pass with out incident.  Let me explain with a little back ground.

When Christopher died I held onto his belongings for quite a while. I didn't want to give them away, I couldn't throw them away so I stored them. Looking at them was painful the thought of not having them was even more painful.

Finally I did manage to start getting rid of them I kept a few special pieces but the rest I found new homes for. I did the same with his toys. I kept his favorites but the rest I gave to his friends. 

Fast forward about a year. It began with his socks.  One day doing laundry I discovered one odd sock in the laundry, It belonged to Christopher. It was unmistakably his. His little feet were so small and his socks never fit anyone but his. I could not figure out how it got there. The interesting part was it was wet and dirty!

Christopher loved tramping about in the mud, the child's socks were terrible always wet always muddy. In the middle of a drought he could always find a mud puddle.  I puzzled over it , had a small cry and then I washed the sock. I mentioned it to Brent who laughed and told me I must have been mistaken. I began to think he was right because IT WASN'T IN THE DRYER! I don't know where it went, I never saw that particular sock again.

I was having an off kind of day and was missing my little boy a great deal that day. John said to me maybe it was his way of telling me he was still with me. I remember saying , but why a dirty sock why not a t- shirt?

Be careful what you wish for! Chris must have heard and now every so often one of his t shirts shows up in the dryer. Random odd socks still appear too but at least they are also clean and in the dryer.

Never in the laundry going in, always in the dryer. For a while I thought Brent was doing it. I have to admit I was annoyed, he claimed innocence but I still thought it was him playing a joke. Then Brent went away to University.  Two months after he left, guess what? a pair of jammie pants showed up.  The thing is many of the items that have showed up, I very clearly remember giving away. I remember crying over each piece , not wanting to part with any of it but knowing that I had to try and rebuild my life somehow and keeping clothing for a child who was never returning made no sense. Not only that Chris was a very giving child, He would want me to give the clothes away. That is just who he was. 

Fast forward to today and it is a beautiful day , perfect for laundry. As I take the the clothes out to the line, guess what , there in the bottom of the basket is Christopher's little gray and blue Pokemon shirt. It is wet but its clean. and I know darn well it was not in that load of laundry when I started the washer. The truth is this time of year always makes me think of Chris a lot. He died in August so warm weather and the date coming closer brings that on. Not that he is ever far from my mind, but I miss him more than ever in the summer. 

And maybe that is the point. Maybe he is trying in his own little way to let me know that he is still with me in a way I will never miss. Finding something of his when I am not expecting too, really sends that message home. At first it drove me nuts, but now 4 years after it started it brings me comfort. I began tucking the pieces of clothes that I found in a drawer, but they don't stay. Often when I go to add a new piece to the drawer there will be a few pieces found earlier, missing. 

I don't even try to fit my head around that one any more. I guess he just needed clean laundry? In any event it brings me comfort. and it doesn't matter if you believe me or not, Everyone in this house has experienced it  at least once.  So we know it is true. Has anyone out there ever had anything like this happen to them?

Want to work from home? Things to consider

 If you have been reading my posts, (thank you by the way) You know I work from home. Working from home has its challenges and its rewards. I started working from home about 4 years ago. I started looking for a work at home position about 4 years before that.  Why did it take me so long? Well, it is not as easy as one might think to find a job that allows you to work from home. At least is wasn't 8 years ago, Now that has changed.

 More and more companies are giving their employees the opportunity to work from the comforts of their own home. It really pays for companies to do this for a variety of reasons. The biggest one is it is way cheaper to have employees stay home and work then come into the office, If a company is completely virtual like mine, there are no building costs, no heating costs, no equipment costs. 

 For the employee there are big savings too, the biggest for me is travelling expense.  With out the daily commute everyday there is no need to have a second car and all the costs that go with it. The second big saving is clothing. I don't need to invest the money I used to spend on work clothing. In fact most of the time I can work in my pajamas if I want to. More on that later.

 There are a lot of reasons a person may choose to work from home instead of the traditional workplace. If you are a mom or dad, you might want to might want to be home with your kids, but still need to earn a living so this is a good solution. Perhaps it is not possible for you to travel to an outside work place for one reason or another. What ever the reason, there are some things you should consider before you take that plunge. 

Space to work

 Seems simple enough right? If you are going to work from home you are going to need a place to do your work stuff, surprisingly, some people think that they can just set up at their kitchen table and they are good to go. Now depending on the type of work you do, this might work, But for most jobs you are required to have a separate space with a door that you can close to work privately. If you are in a small space and every room is occupied then working from home may not be possible for you. 

What about the kids and pets?

 One of the biggest rewards and drawbacks to working from home is children and pets. Rewards happen because you are home with them instead of a babysitter. Or that is the theory anyway. It really depends on the age of your children and level of care they need. It also depends on whether or not noise will affect the quality of work. For example, my job requires absolute quiet. If I cannot have a quiet environment to work, that is a deal breaker. Before setting up your office and burning all your work clothes, think realistically about the noise level in your home. How much attention do your children need? Are they older or really young? The smaller the child the more attention you need to give them. Depending on your job, this might not be possible. Even older children can demand a certain amount attention and don't always understand that they need to be quiet and not bother Mommy or Daddy while they are working, The same things apply to pets, if your dog barks a lot, this may not be optimal work conditions for you. For these reasons  you may have to keep your babysitter so you can work.  Or invest in duct tape... I am just kidding! please don't duct tape your children! 

What kind of work do you want to do?

  If your company has created a work from home position then this one is a no brainer, most likely you will be doing the same thing you did at the office. But if you are not so lucky and you need to find a new job then you will first need to decide what it is you want to do.  Not every job is for everyone. Can you live on the money they are offering? Can you commit the hours that you will be required to? Just be cause you are home you will still be putting a full work week. This is really hard for some people. Before you apply for any job offering whether from home or in a brick and mortar situation, do some research, Google the company name and read reviews, Find out if anyone else you know works there, and if so what has been their experience?  Do they like working there and why? Is there a strong reliable support system? What don't they like? I cannot stress this enough, Please for the love of all that is holy, READ THE JOB DESCRIPTION! There is nothing worse than quitting your current job only to find that the job you thought was going to make staying home a reality is nothing more than a scam.  More on that later too.

What about Cost?

Before jumping on the next work at home position you hear about, really think it through, remember you will be at home, you will not always have a supervisor to go to when you get stuck , you may have to figure things out for yourself. Make sure you can handle it and your tools are up to the challenge.  To start working form home you may have to invest in a new computer, a better internet connection and other tools, You may have to renovate a space if you own your own home to make it more suitable for your work needs.  Do you need to buy additional equipment? Most companies will give you a list of the things you must have when you speak with them about the position, really good companies will have those items listed in the job posting. Make sure you can meet these needs before you commit.

The Pros 

The commute.

 Simple walk from my coffee pot to my office all of 20 feet. This means no fighting traffic, no driving in snowstorms , no gas bill. It's bliss.

Sleeping in. 

Depending on where you live and what time zone your company operates on , you can potentially sleep until a half an hour before you work, This means no getting up at 5:45 am to get ready and then drive an hour to work. Again, this is bliss.

More family time. 

This was a biggie for me, Even though my son was in high school when I started working from home, I knew he would soon be going off to university. It was absolutely priceless to me that he could come home from school each day and just come and sit with me for a few minutes or if he needed me for something I was a simple knock on my office door away. The same goes for my husband. He can pop in to refresh my coffee, or ask how my day was. Or just sit with me for a minute if I am not too busy. This too falls under bliss.

Tax breaks.

In Canada and I believe also the U.S.A, (not sure about other countries) the government offers tax breaks for working from home. You can legally claim a certain amount of your rent, electricity, and supplies on your taxes. It is really easy to get information on this if you check with your government. 

The wardrobe. 

As mentioned previously, So long as you don't have to attend some sort of video conferences with other co-workers, it really doesn't matter how you look or dress, you can wear your comfy jammies if you like. This how ever can become a con.. as you will read shortly.

Freedom from work place illness.

If you work in a large office space -or worse, a smaller cramped office- then you know what happens when someone comes to work with some particularly nasty and persistent bug, with in a few weeks everyone is sick and that includes you. This won't protect you from the nasties your spouse and kids will bring home but it will certainly lessen the times a year you may get sick.

The Cons

Finding a legitimate work from home job

This is a big one, NEVER accept a position that expects you to pay them for the privilege of being an employee. Some " companies" will charge ridiculous amounts for you to work for them. Then you find out you don't get paid until you sell something or meet some sort of requirement. There are a lot of places like this out there. READ THE FINE PRINT. This also goes for  companies that don't want to pay you for training. If you are giving them your time you need to get paid. Period. 

Do they deduct tax or are you considered an independent?

 While this may seem like a bonus to your pay check if you are considered an independent, you will make a little more money, BUT at tax time, this can really hurt you when you are required to pay all the taxes that were not deducted. It will also effect unemployment benefits. If you don't pay in, you can't fall back on it later if you need it.

Never leaving your home.

This is way easier then it sounds. It is important to have a life out side your home. I work at least 40 hours a week and lately more than that, so it is not uncommon for me to not leave my house for 2 weeks or more. I don't mind that, because I am not a big people person. But isolation can make you go a little nutty. My husband is really big on making me get out once in a while, He insists on it.  He is afraid I will become a hermit. 

The wardrobe.

Not having to dress up and being able to wear comfy clothes all the time is a bit of a trap, when your jammy pants outnumber your jeans then you should consider a wardrobe change. And FYI, I am guilty of this.

Bad support system.

If you have technical issues will there be help? Does your company have a support system in place if you need help or encounter a problem? My company uses Skype messenger to communicate and there is always a supervisor online, but not all companies have that. If the problem is with your own equipment can you fix it, I had no choice but to get really familiar with how my computer works and how to fix it, Even so I cannot fix everything. Things will break and will wear out. You have to be prepared to replace things right away if needed. Or it could mean losing your job.

Unless you are single and have no children you will also need a good family support system. You are still working a normal work week. Just because you are home does not mean you can just get up and go do laundry or wash the dishes. This takes dedication on your part. It is still a job. You are still required to show up and put in the required time. You will still need your family to pitch in around the house the same as they would if you were working outside the home. They will also need to be understanding and respect your work space, This means learning to be quiet and not blare the t.v or the radio while you are working, Most homes are not sound proof and what may seem normal if you are not working can be really detrimental when you work from home.

So there you have it, Working from home is very rewarding and it is the only way for me. I love that I am home and still earn a paycheck every two weeks, but it is not for everyone. If you have questions or want to learn more about the challenges and the pay offs please feel free to drop me a line or leave a comment I will do my best to answer anything I can.